Let them eat cake
by Archaeologist
Summary: Arthur was nosy enough for both of them, especially when there's cake involved. And Merlin couldn't seem to hide anything from Arthur, either. Merlin thought it most annoying.


**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairing/s:** Arthur/Merlin  
**Character/s:** Merlin, Arthur  
**Warnings:** none  
**Word Count:** 817  
**Author's Notes:** As an American, I didn't know the difference between butter icing and frosting but I did look it up.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own the BBC version of Merlin; It and Shine do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No money has changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Arthur was a child, a grown wanker with the persistence of a two-year-old.

Merlin wanted to do something special for Arthur. After all, they'd only been lovers a few months, and while Merlin wasn't the best cook on the planet, he wasn't bad. He thought he'd make Arthur a cake for his birthday, a secret cake with all the things he loved inside, chocolate, a moist luscious interior, and that special butter icing that had Arthur groaning in ecstasy every time he licked the spoon – never mind that they never really finished slathering the cake with it because Arthur was also insatiable. Not that Merlin was complaining.

But he wanted the cake to be a surprise and he needed alone time for that. Unfortunately or maybe gloriously fortunate for Merlin, Arthur, nosy as any kid, was watching his every move, following him into the kitchen, into the lounge, down the hallway, into and out of the bedroom, kissing his neck when Merlin came within reach, shoving his warm hand up under Merlin's shirt, down into Merlin's pants and squeezing just so. It was maddening. It was also exhausting because while Merlin did love the blow jobs and Arthur's cock finding its way inside him in the afternoons and at night, silken ropes and play time, he needed to finish the cake, damn it.

Finally, there was a phone call from his sister and Arthur had to go out for a while. Merlin tried hard not to be just a little bit relieved about it. And sore in all the right places.

The sacrifices he made for that clotpole.

Anyway, as soon as the door slammed, Merlin was whipping up batter, pulling out the hidden ingredients – luckily Arthur hadn't looked under the pile of Merlin's dirty laundry or the jig would have been up before Merlin even got started, and in general trying desperately to finish before Arthur got back.

His luck held long enough for the cake to come out of the oven, smelling every bit as delicious as Merlin had hoped. The icing was made, too, and now all he had to do was wait for the cake to cool long enough to spread it and then decorate it all with birthday wishes.

But at that moment, the door slammed, Arthur bellowing about sisters and strangling. Merlin didn't know what to do, so of course he panicked and shoved the still cooling cake out onto the terrace and pulled the drapes shut. He just hoped that Arthur wouldn't notice the icing. Or the delicious cake smell.

Stomping into the kitchen, Arthur ignored Merlin, instead pulling out the good liquor out of the cabinet and poured himself a half glass, downing it in one. Then another. It looked like Arthur's foray into familial bliss wasn't going well.

"I don't know why I even try. She's such a… what's that?"

Damn, he'd found the icing. Or maybe smelled cake. Either way, he must have figured out that something was up.

Merlin, liar extraordinaire, said, "Ummm…." Then when Arthur scowled at him, Merlin stammered out, "It's for Gwen. Lance is going to propose and he needed my help."

"He needed your butter icing to propose? Merlin, that makes no sense at all. Besides, he did that last week. We're invited to the wedding or have you forgotten?" Arthur just leaned back against the cabinet, his arms crossed. "What are you hiding?" Then he must have thought it through because he started to look around. "Do I smell cake?"

Before Merlin could stammer out another lie, there was a clatter outside on the terrace, and the sound of a cake tin falling and the annoyed sound of birds squabbling.

Merlin shot past Arthur, pulling open the drapes to find several crows and a couple of squirrels battling each other over the remnants of Merlin's cake.

Needless to say, Merlin's screech scared them away, but the damage was already done. The cake was in lumps of half-eaten dessert. It was ruined, the whole surprise was a total disaster. He wanted to cry.

Even Arthur looked sad. He did love cake.

But when Merlin went to pull the tin back in, thinking to dump it all into the trash, and then go for a good long howl at the moon, Arthur stopped him.

"Merlin, just leave it." Turning away, he reached out, letting his fingers slide through a bit of icing, then smeared it over Merlin's lips. "I've got the best part. The butter icing looks really good on you."

Arthur pulled Merlin close to him and began to lick it off.

When Merlin protested, Arthur just shook his head and reached for more icing. "Merlin, let them eat cake. I'll have you for dessert instead."

Then proceeded to show Merlin just how delicious icing could be.

Merlin was okay with that. After all, Arthur's kisses were better than cake any day.


End file.
